Solarship Log: DSS GastronomyCrew Member: Commander Pollo
DooF Date: Rebmeced 51, 9002
Earth Date: December 15, 2009
As the DSS Gastronomy approaches the Earth’s atmosphere, our solarship’s energy sensors are detecting an unusual amount of activity around the planet’s North Pole.
Every time Y tries to reprogram the navigation system so that we can get a closer look, the control panel gets jammed by flashing red and green lights. What could this indicate?
As far as I’m aware from studying Earth traffic manuals, red means “stop” and green means “go”. But both at the same time? Is this some advanced form of intergalactic traffic control? (Note to self: ask Agent Cook about this).
At random intervals, our radar screen shows an unidentified flying object which appears to consist of a motorless intraplanetary chariot pulled by large antlered creatures, one of which seems to have a glowing red nose. (Does that mean “stop”? I don’t want to start my Earth travel with a traffic ticket!).
As we zoom in closer on our magnifier screen, the operator of this primitive-looking vehicle appears to be a rotund, bearded human male wearing a conical red-and-white hat. Of course, Lieutenant Trippe is dying to get his hands on this headgear, as he’s certain it indicates a commander of the very highest rank.
Another odd thing: radiating from the Earth’s surface is a strangely enticing smell that we’ve never encountered on Planet DooF. We analyzed some microscopic olfactory particles that we found in the vehicle: cinnamon, vanilla, butter, sugar and … chocolate. Are these some sort of Earthly fuel emissions?
I wish I had the words to describe this amazing aroma. All I can say is that something about it makes me want to reach into a glass jar and pull out a disc-like object. For some reason, I feel I must put this object in my mouth and crunch it between my teeth. Strange as it seems, the idea gives me great pleasure.
I wish we had a ship’s doctor on board — I think the change in galaxies is getting to me.