Solarship Log: DSS GastronomyCrew Member: Y
DooF Date: March 4, 2010
Earth Date: Hcram 4, 0102
Wow, cooking is way easier than I thought it would be! A lot more fun, too. In fact, if it weren’t for Lt. Trippe banging on the door of the new solarship galley, everything would be perfect.
Sometimes I just do not understand that guy. For instance, right now I can hear him yelling something about 4000 year old noodles and how he knows more about them than anyone on the entire Planet DooF (including his dad).
Well, that’s great. I mean, I like history too. But: HELLO — we’re COOKING here!
I figured I’d probably need some help with my galley work and since I want this to be a surprise for my dad, I brought Cookbot in here with me. Just to make sure everything’s perfect, I located some Earth cookbooks in the cyberspace galaxy humans call the Internet — and I programmed them into Cookbot’s databanks.
This turned out to be a really good idea because when I tried to read the directions on the noodle package, I realized I didn’t know how to “boil” something called “water.”
Of course, Cookbot knew that meant we should use our solarship’s energy to agitate the molecules in H20 until it reached the temperature humans know as 212 degrees Fahrenheit. He even used his “Joy of Cooking” research to tell me that a strict pasta-water ratio of 1 liter to each 100 grams is advisable in cases where the pasta is dry. Which, of course, our noodles are.
Hmmm: what else could they be? Wet? Well, I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
Normally, I think this would be simpler than ANYTHING we do on Planet Doof. However, the whole time we’re trying make sure we get this boiling thing right, Lieutenant Trippe’s out there yelling about how there’s no way cooking could be all that important.
He keeps going back to what he originally thought our mission was, shouting:
“Don’t you remember the only three super-ultra-mega-totally-top-secret questions that matter? One! What is a noodle? Two! Where does it come from? Three! What is the safest way to go about capturing one?”
Yikes: I can just see him counting on all three of his fingers (something he absolutely needs to do in order to accomplish even the simplest mathematical calculation). I bet his face is that hilarious greenish-orange color that it gets when he’s REALLY mad. Of course, that happens with all DooFians. But Lieutenant Trippe’s way more colorful than most…
Oh, please tell me this is not happening! Cookbot is so freaked out by all the yelling that I think he’s blown a circuit. He’s waving around his spoon like some kind of supercharged swashbuckler yelling: “Ahoy and alfredo! Shiver me timbers and flibber the fettucine! Make th’ know-it-all walk th’ gangplank!”
The bubbles are starting to erupt out of our pot and I have no idea what to do.
I’ve got to reprogram Cookbot right now!
Learn more about the DooFians and Planet DooF!